Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day!


First of all, Happy Mother's Day!
So much has changed for me in my short time of being a mother.
I have been a stay-at-home mother of one, a stay-at-home mother of two, a working mother of two, a Single, working mother of two and now... On this, my 7th "official" Mother's Day... I am a married, working mother of Four.
I feel so lucky to have had all of these experiences and perspectives. I loved staying home with my kids. Loved it. To those people out there who say "I could never 'just stay home'. I would get so bored!" I need to say this: Then you're doing it wrong. 
I loved my Mom's Club friends. What strong women. Five years later, I still consider many of them very close friends. I loved my MOPS group, I loved going to parks, I loved arts and crafts (yes, me--they weren't complex ones) we had a museum membership, a zoo membership (Again. Me!) and a library card. We had favorite play grounds and a tricked out Step 2 Safari covered wagon with seat belts, drink holders and a door that opened.
For the most part, The Chick and The Duck (AKA The Blondes) did not touch fast food and I cooked most of our meals.
Staying home with your kids, in my opinion, is a huge sacrifice on countless levels, but the rewards are immeasurable. 
Moving on....Working mother of two. Oh. My. Gosh. I was working from home about 50 hours a week, my husband at the time had a job that demanded his constant time and attention had a "just because you started working doesn't mean my job has changed" philosophy and I was officially in over my head.
I still tried to do all the things I had done when I stayed home. After all, I was working from home. It's not like I was like other working moms... right?
(For those of you who have worked from home with a family, you know what an incredible struggle it is).
Not long after I started, my husband and I separated. 
Those were some tough months because sometime in there, my company decided that those in my position would no longer be working from home, we would be working nine-hours-a-day from a little office about 30 minutes away. And there were weekends involved.
When the opportunity to move to Minnesota presented itself, I jumped at it.
A single, working mother of two 1564 miles from the kids' dad.
Yet another chapter.
Luckily, I had a wonderful support system. Grandmas, Grandpas, friends and a wonderful, flexible boss made this much smoother for The Blondes and me than I ever could have hoped.
It was still very hard. My house never, ever looked spotless, there always seemed to be one more load of clothes waiting to be done and Samma missed Pajama Day both times they had it at preschool (In my defense, it's better than her going to school in her jammies when she wasn't supposed to... Right??)
The kids were in skating lessons, soccer and dance class, respectively, and I took a year (and counting) off from working out.
Yep. Sacrifices.
But different sacrifices this time.
I was living in my home state with friends within 30 minutes of me, but there was just never time to get together--Or money to pay a sitter so we could get together.
I was also dating this amazing man 25 minutes away.
He is the most hard-working, generous man I have ever met. And his mission was to make my life easier. I would come home to my lawn freshly mowed. Or to some food he just made in my fridge. One day, I came home to a new dresser in my room. (I had been content to live out of Rubbermaids for a while.) Yep. He made my life easier. And then some. 
He has these two adorable dimples... and two amazing sons. He's the complete package.
And just about a month ago, I got to marry him,
Which brings me here. On this, my 7th Mother's Day, sitting on our deck, drinking a Mimosa, digesting French toast and sausage and fresh fruit and candied bacon (yes. He candied bacon for me!!!!) watching my three sons play on the beach.
My little girlie is taking a nap and we have big plans to Just Be today.
My kids' dad sent me a nice "Happy Mothers Day" text and is now living back in Minnesota.
As I look to this next chapter, with my four kids, my perfect-for-me husband and my family close by, I am so... Appreciative. I know "thankful" is a word that people use a lot. Or blessed. And I certainly am both of these.
But I am appreciative. I am appreciative of my perspective. I am appreciative that all of the pieces to my puzzle ... fit. I feel like being "appreciative" kicks it up a notch. It implies that one has been on the other side of a situation and knows how tough things can be.
I appreciate that God has trusted me with these four amazing kids.
I appreciate that The Blondes' dad has moved back and that we have the good relationship we have now.
I appreciate that my parents are close enough to get down here in a day and that the kids have grandparents and other family within seven minutes of them.
I appreciate my partner: A man who understands my values, adores my Blondes, and sees this life a lot like I do.
That, as I have learned, is rare. And it takes work.
And he appreciates my efforts and challenges me to always be just a little better, all the while, making me feel like the smartest, most capable and beautiful woman in the world. 
I love that about him.
What a fantastic Mother's Day.
Cheers, mamas!!