Monday, December 22, 2014

I am Part of All I Have Met

There are quotes that have stuck with me in life. Published quotes that remind us to be kind to one another or not take things for granted. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain!" -That's a good one. I like that.

"I am a part of all that I have met."
It's beautiful, isn't it. It's buried in a poem from the 1800's by Lord (Alfred) Tennyson called Ulysses. It's not an obvious part of the poem. In fact, you have to really be looking for something to grab your attention when you read it because, I'll be honest, it's not a particularly engaging piece if you're not into that sort of thing.

It says so much. "I am a part of all that I have met." For better or worse. Whether it's someone I engaged with in conversation in a checkout line or a stranger I shared a smile with.
It's a person I made fun of years ago. She found out. I'm part of her life.
I dated a guy over a decade ago and didn't give him my best. I'm part of his life.
People will cross my path until there isn't a path to cross and they will leave with something of me and I with something of them. Whether I was at my best or at my lowest.
That's a big deal.
If I keep "I am a part of all that I have met" in mind, it grounds me. It does make me want to step up my game and offer a better version of Beth.
You know what else it does? It makes me want to grab the good in others as well. Because they are forever a part of me. I want to choose to see their goodness and not point out the flaws. Because that goodness is what I get from them.

I don't know if this is what Tennyson had in mind when he wrote his (lengthy, non-rhyming, non-Iambic pentameter, not incredibly engaging) poem.
It's just a line.
But, intentional or not, it's a damn good line.

I would have never known this line had it not been inked on Jodi's ankle.
Jodi was my husband's first love.
The boys' mom.
Jodi found this quote and embraced it. She wanted others to embrace it, too. She was a teacher. She knew she was shaping and changing people. She knew she would be part of the lives of her students and colleagues forever. For better or worse.

She passed away five years ago today.
I never met her.
But she is such a part of our lives.
She is in Sam's thoughtful, analytic, and quirky conversations.
She is in Max's creative and enthusiastic stories and one-liners.
I know she helped shape Joe into the wonderful husband I was lucky enough to marry--that doesn't just happen. ;)
She is part of all of us.

She is a big part of how I parent the boys. Her boys.
I think about how I would want Logan and Samma raised if something happened to me. This is always, always on my mind.
I feel like it makes me better. It makes me more aware.
It makes me stop and ask: What part of me is shaping all of them?
The busy part? The frustrated part? The part that slips up and causes one of them to gasp and remind me, "We don't say that word"? The part that is so freaking tired of hearing them pick at each other that my yelly voice pops out?
Probably. I'm human.

It's also the part that lays with them a little longer during tuck in time, scratching their back and whispering about their day. The part that laughs at their little jokes. The part that reminds them how loved they are. These are the bigger part of their lives.

I am a part of all that I have met. Just a little quote. A soundbite, really. Do with it what you will. Allow it to be a reminder that who and how you are makes a difference in the lives of others.
For better or worse.
You are leaving a legacy.
You are changing a life.
We don't get to decide when we are done doing this. That's up to God.
My opportunity could end abruptly. What part of me did I share with the world? My colleagues? My family?

Whether the message sticks with you for the day in honor of Jodi, or you keep it in mind over the Christmas season, or it becomes a part of your life, I wanted to share her message today.
You make a difference.
You make an impact.
You shape lives.
You are a part of everyone you meet.
Make it count.