The decisions we make ... Make us

I woke up one beautiful morning just over a month ago, looked at the date and thought, “Wow. I got married nine years ago today."

Nine years ago, my dad and I walked down the aisle all teary-eyed.

I pledged Forever in front of my family and friends (most of whom drove over six hours to celebrate with us) in my small town church.

I asked my very best friends to stand up for us and pray for us and support us as we embarked on the excitement of our happily ever after.

We danced the night away.

I sang with the band.

It was a beautiful celebration.

I meant it when I said forever. And as far as I know, so did he.

And for a while, forever made sense. So much sense. Before long, we had two beautiful kids. We had a grown-up life, complete with moves across state lines, job promotions, home buying, renting, and selling, play groups, and retirement funds. 

And then one day, shit hit the fan. Hard.

As much as we tried to repair that road to forever, we just couldn't. 

We tried our asses off for years, but we were broken.

You guys.

It was devastating.

It was lonely.

It changed me.

Thank God for my family. My parents, my brother, my cousins in Arizona. 

Thank God for my friends and my aunties and uncles--the ones I finally opened up to about our divorce who mostly thought I was teasing. (Understandably so. I’m a trickster).

That support meant the world.

See, nobody else can really understand what happens when two people get divorced. But they can love you. They can lift you up.

Are they sad for you and are they mourning your marriage, too? Of course they are.

But those people who are on Your Side, no matter what.

Those people who are there for you, family or not, who let you cry and pour you wine and make you laugh and watch your kids and talk you out of decisions that could land you in jail, or at the very least on a neighborhood watch list, are the gems in this life.

I’m not jaded. Obviously.

I believe in marriage. 

I believe in family. Again—Obviously.

I also believe in second, third … multiple new beginnings and supporting the ones I love in their choices.
The decision Joe and I made a few years ago to join forces, get married, and create our Anoka County 6 Pack was a fabulous one. 
Quite the amazing New Beginning.

You may have a decision staring you in the face and you could be on the cusp of a new beginning.

A decision to get married or end a marriage.

A decision to move or stay put.

A decision to get that Bacardi bat tramp stamp or those Aerosmith lyrics inked on your inner thigh. (Do both)

 After all, what is life but a series of decisions? Be strong in them. Whether your decisions are fueled by love or passion or spite or the desire for acceptance (don't have those last two be your fuel, hey) … when it’s all said and done, the decisions we make … make us.

There isn’t anyone else who could step into your life and live it better than you. So live it up, live it proud, and for goodness sakes—Lift up others as they choose their bumpy, imperfect but ultimately beautiful life path as well.